No matter what the season it feels like autumn. The feelings in my heart are like autumn leaves falling to the ground. Tears flow like autumnal downpours. A sudden wind picks up and my thoughts are tossed. Fearlessly I wander under lightening that cracks before the coming of the rain shivering from the cold it is so cold and I feel as if I am saying to the grim reaper "See me here I am." Nothing seems to warm me. My body might be warm but my soul is cold. I feel like racing off somevvhere but ali in vain. With my head in such a state it doesn't matter vvhere I go -nothing vvould make a difference.
***
My happiness rises to an ali time high and in every sense of the word and then the world seems a beautiful place. But the constant storm that rages in my head is unrelenting. And I am a prisoner to the povverful force that sweeps through my mind. I feel like I might only get some relief if my head vvould actually burst öpen releasing ali the ricocheting thoughts.
You're probably vvondering hovv someone could be so happy and unhappy at the same time and then so hopeless she vvished her brain vvould blow up altogether.
Having so many conflicting emotions at the same time and to the point of madness you svving from one extreme to the other leaping betvveen emotional polar opposites.
Sometimes an extreme emotion suddenly goes sour and you feel like you're losing your mind.